Unforgivable, undesireable
by The Edge Wolf
Summary: Alanna and Jon fight over Alanna's lack of ladiness once again, Alanna knowing full well that she needed her cover to stay hidden, so did running to the Rogue really fix anything?
1. Chapter 1

A/N; so yeah, I wrote a final fantasy fan fic a while back now, and sort of lost the plot during the story, and it died on me Dx, hopefully this will last longer, I Love Tamora Pierce, and especially her books. =D Especially the Song of the Lioness series.

**DISCLAIMER: Yeah, that's right I guess, I don't own anything -sad face- hey, don't we all wish we were her?**

STORY BLURB: Alanna and Jon fight over Alanna's lack of ladiness once again, Alanna knowing full well that she needed her cover to stay hidden, so did running to the Rogue really fix anything?

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Chapter 1

With the extra homework and study from all her teachers, along with her physical training, Alanna found it hard to get any spare time in. She was glad for the moment, and she was more then happy to take it. So swiftly, the red-haired squire headed for the lakeside, to sit beneath a large shady tree, and consider some more study. It always seemed so impossible for her to get anything done, when her friends were around, or were fidgeting along side of her to. Half an hour had passed, and Alanna had barely reached the second page of her eight hundred and seventy page textbook, her head was rested back against the tree trunk, her arms limp on the ground, and her legs pulled up slightly to hold her book angled slightly. Her eyes were closed, her lips pulled tight in a small smile, enjoying the feeling of the air against her face. Moonlight snorted into the grass behind her, grazing softly as his master went about snoring. With a light pattern, her chest rose and fell, letting those know that she was alive, but enjoying her sleep. Moments of peace was just the best, and Alanna wished she could stay like this forever, but like always, wishes were just out of reach. A large yell of happiness accompanied by two others rang through her ears, she startled and sat up, only to be drenched by lake water, as the three bodies jumped in the water. She growled in fustration and stood to her full height. She was about to curse in every language she knew when she glanced at the three boys swimming. She rolled her eyes, and sat back down.

"C'mon Alan!" Yelled one of the boys, Raoul.

"Yeah, Alan, jump in the water's great!" Added Gary, splashing the water into Raoul's face. Alanna snorted,

"You already know that I'd rather not." She paused, and then grinned at them, "Remember what happened to Ralon when he told me the same thing?" The two stopped for a moment, dead silent, indeed remembering what happened to Ralon when Alanna had refused to jump in the water. So far, Jon had been silent, not saying anything, knowing full well why she refused to swim. A blush rose across her face when she thought about her very unfortunate event in the black city with John just months back.

"Just try it, for us?" Both Raoul and Gary chided together. She shook her head,

"I can't go swimming beca--" she paused, before splurging about her monthly's. She sighed, as the two eyed her suspiously, before shrugging their shoulders, Jon watching on still eyes slightly narrowed carefully. The two others, deciding to dunk the future king. It was sad to see that though, out of the original 6, only 4 remained, Alex barely saw them anymore, and Francis was long gone.

When morning came the next day, Alanna woke with a start, her face scrunched up in confusion. She'd slept so well for days past, but it felt strange, like she felt somewhat empty. What, was it? She sighed, annoyed with herself for waking at this time of the morning. Slowly, Alanna got up, and dressed in a pair of loosely fitting shirt and breeches, along with her riding boots. With ease, she slipped from her dorm, and walked down the hall, the patter of her boots on the floor, remembering when George's mother had taught her in being a lady. Maybe this was what the empty feeling was? Hopefully not, thought Alanna, never in a million years did she want to be a lady, devoid of her shield. Which brought her to another feeling, what would she do going about her shield, they had to know right? About her being a woman. She couldn't hide it forever. On the positive side, they might act like Jonathan had, relaxed, and accepting. On the polar opposite side, they could completely exile her to some unknown island on the other side of Tortal. She shook her head, there was no use worrying about it now, and walked quickly to the training hall on the outside.

"Must you always train?" She looked up from her lunges and stopped, to place her hands behind her head, breathing in deeply,

"You know, Jonathan, it's easy enough to say hello." she raised a brow at him, as he snorted, a small smile plastered to his lips. Jon was getting taller, Alanna noticed, and much more handsome. No wonder the ladies at court always tried to get him to take them to his room. He looked at the ground, and after a few moments of no words, he looked back up, his deep blue eyes sparkling in friendliness, and a piercing dominance came forward to, almost in a cheekiness.

"You know, most sane people sleep at this hour of the morning." he retorted equally. She grinned,

"Didn't I say I wasn't the sane one of my family?" She finished, bending down to grab the practice stick, Jon's gaze never once leaving her form. When she rose again, she twirled the stick in her fingers. "So what gets you up this early." she asked in curiousity. Confusion crossed Jon's eyes momentarily, Alanna stiffling a laugh. He shrugged his shoulders, and his hands went to his pockets in a laid back expression.

"I was just wondering why, all of a sudden, I wonder as I go to bed, and when I wake up, when you will accept being a..." he paused, "You know." A slightly annoyed look crossed her face, she knew exactly what she was, she didn't need reminding. Her reminder came every month. She sighed, "Anything else Jon, I don't really want to hear about it." she asked, a blank expression plastered to her face. She personally hated it when Jonathan tried to treat her more like he would a lady of court then one of his best friend's Alan. He grabbed a practise stick, he twirled in his hands also,

"So mote it be Alan," he paused, and then continued on, "Duel?" She grinned, and nodded her head,

"So don't fight like a girl Jonathan of Conte." A smug grin sitting on her face.

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A/N: So there's the first of this story, hope yous like it, like I did. Reviews are more then welcome, some ideas for what readers would like to happen, and maybe I could work it into my plot. =D

- The edge xox


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I would like to thank Peenawt, for picking up my mistake of calling Alanna's horse Peachblossom, who's really Kel's from POTS series. xD My bad, I guess since I just finished reading that series, absent-minded typing. So I apologise for that, and thanks once again for that =D

DISCLAIMER: Read chapter one's disclaimer. My thoughts haven't changed any.

Chapter two.

Swiftly, Alanna slid down from Moonlight's saddle, only to be met by one of George's stable boys, asking gently for the reins, where they would lead her horse to the stables. She grinned, handing him the reins. She nodded at him as he said his goodbyes, Moonlight trailing after him. Whiping down her clothes, then whiping her hands on the back of her riding breeches, she took a confident step inside the loud and bustling Dove's Inn. Almost automatically, she was greeted with loud hello's, claps on the back, and ruffling of her hair. A few asked where Johnny was, referring of course to Jon, but none of them here, knew that the young lad was actually the future King of Tortall. She nodded to people in hello's, but otherwise said nothing else, and advanced on the bar. She landed heavily on the bar stool, her posture slumped as she leaned on the bench.

"Rough nigh' eh?" the bartender asked quietly, leaning on the bench just a few inches away from her. She nodded drousily. Unsure of really how else to go about it. He smiled warmly, "Woulda ale do it for ya, young Alan?" She smiled, but shook her head,

"Actually have you seen George? I was hoping he would be here." She asked, propping herself up on the bench with her arms. He shook his head,

"No actually, he's gone north for a while. Apparently needs som' time off. Ya know how he is." The bartender sighed, before taking a glass behind the closed door to wash it. Alanna groaned inwardly. Why had she come in the first place? Just to get away from the palace maybe. She slumped again, before getting up lazily, waving goodbye to the usual crowd, and returning to Moonlight in the stables. Moonlight grunted nervously. Alanna looked at her horse in concern,

"Hey ---shush." she grabbed the reins and patted her horses face, "What's wrong?" she asked quietly. The horse seemed to have caught something, and skipped to the side. Alanna spun on her heels, she was silent, trying not to give herself away. Once her horse reassured itself, Alanna lifted herself into the saddle, what in Mithros' name was that? She thought, guiding Moonlight out into the alleyway, kicking her into a canter, right back to the palace, wanting not to waste anymore time in the dark. Little did the squire know, that there was indeed someone following her, and it wasn't for the good of things either.

She'd gotten back just in time for dinner, and quickly sat down in between Raoul and Gary, reaching across the table for her plate, as the boys had gotten it for her. Unaware that Jon was speaking to her. She sat back and was about to bite into a bun when she noticed the three of them watching her.

"What?" she asked through her bun.

"I said, "Where've you been? We went looking all over for you." Jon said calmly. She swallowed, and cleared her throat,

"Went to visit George, but he wasn't there." she stated simply, the others looking at her, concern etched on their faces. A silent moment passed between them all before Gary spoke up.

"He'll be back soon, he always does anyway." they all nodded in agreement, Alanna quickly scoffing down her food, the four of them talking about their classes that day. And soon their conversation changed to the court. Alanna sighed on the inside. She hated waiting, especially on Jon, she had to be just that much better then everyone else, since she was the Prince's squire.

"There's an upcoming on this week." Jon said, flashing a smirk at Alanna, he knew how much she hated them. She feigned surprise by raising her eyebrows, Raoul smirked alongside Jon.

"This one I'm coming to." Alanna looked at her friend.

"Now why would you, Goldenlake, of all people, be excited about a party?" Alanna drauled. He grinned, and nudged her gently.

"Cause there's going to be a lady there with your colour eyes. I wanna see what happens when you two meet." He chuckled at her glare, "Maybe she might have an effect on you." He chuckled again, as she silenced. Who was it though? She wondered, She'd never met anyone else with violet eyes.

"And how do you know, this lady, is coming?" She asked disinterested.

"Jon told us." She shot a glance at Jon, his expression said everything. Suddenly panic filled her stomach. He was going to make her do it. He was going to make Alan be Alanna, at Tortall's palace court. The colour drained from her face. She had to think of an escape, and fast.

"What's wrong Alan?" Asked Jon, his voice deep in amusement and concern. She coughed,

"Yeah I don't think I'm hungry anymore. I'm going back to my room." She got up from her seat, "Raoul, Gary." She nodded her goodbye's a shot a glance at Jon, eyes filled with distaste. "Jonathan." She left without another word.

"I wonder what's wrong with him?" Gary mumbled, Jon just chuckled and continued to eat, the other two looked at the prince, wondering if he'd finally lost it.


End file.
